Posts Tagged ‘delusion’

Delusions are inexhaustible

Sunday, May 5th, 2013

Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to transform them.

This is about cutting through the bullshit. My own bullshit. The bullshit that started the moment I was born, when I was a tiny perfect baby and someone said, “don’t cry!” And somewhere in my little baby brain the thought formed, that I should not be crying. That I was somehow less for crying, and that my mom and the world would like me better if I stopped. That other babies, who are not crying, are better babies. And so I stopped crying before all my tears had been shed.

That little baby notion of wrongness gets shoved into the closet at the back of our minds, and unless we empty the closet and turf that baby bullshit out, it can stay there and fester for the rest of our lives. It leaches a little poison out, that says I am bad, and you are bad, we are bad. We deserve all the pain that is coming to us, and we can lessen the pain by doling out a little retribution to someone else. (more…)

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