Archive for the ‘Non Moms’ Category

BabyNoBaby, meet Scary Mommy

Monday, October 26th, 2015

cupholderI speak here to BabyNoBaby. BabyNoBaby is a brave and funny woman who blogs about the buffeting winds of choice and possibility. To assume the cloak of motherhood, or not? So many arguments for, so many reasons against. Today it is yes, tomorrow it is no. As the clock goes tick tick tick.

BabyNoBaby’s most recent post describes her fantasy life as a stay-at-home mom—a SAHM. She is bored in her work and at a loss for what to do with the rest of her life. Today, the appealing vision of spending whole days at home in her pajamas, puréeing organic baby food and baking, wins out. Today’s decision: Baby. (more…)

Mine won’t be having any

Saturday, April 11th, 2015

generations_at_sunsetI was hanging out at the cafe with two longtime Island friends. Both about half a generation ahead of me in age. The g-word came up (grandkids!) and Kate immediately started in on the marvels of her latest grand-progeny. Denise, an accomplished qi-gong instructor and youthful, energetic force, shrugged. “Mine won’t be having any,” she said. (more…)

My dharma nephew Misha Mountain

Monday, March 2nd, 2015

Misha Mountain Ross SchmittThis is Misha Mountain Ross Schmitt, my new dharma nephew. His mom is my dharma sister, Red Sara Ross. Misha entered into the world in a brave and unorthodox way— a bicycle buddha baby for sure.

Long before we were dharma sisters, Red Sara and I spun through each others’ orbits. Coinciding at Vancouver art happenings, celebrations and demonstrations, we were two red-headed shit disturbers, hell bent for saddle leather. For years, we circled the bike activist world of Vancouver like twin suns. But it wasn’t until I returned from Upaya in 2011, a newly-minted zennie, that we deeply connected. (more…)

Five. Zero.

Friday, July 19th, 2013

carmen & naomiSo I am fifty now—fifty! Five. Zero. I like the sound of that. Fresh, sharp, new, nifty. I am fifty.

I am told I don’t look fifty, or move or speak or act like whatever the common understanding of fifty conveys. People are taken aback when they hear my age and they ask, how? Why? Sometimes I say, “cosmetic surgery.” And then I wait for a beat, until they guess that I am joking . Or not.

I think there are three reasons why I feel so physically young these days:

The number one true answer is just one word and you know what it is: bicycle. The bike keeps my body strong and engaged, blood pumping strong, and eyes wide open in childish wonder.

Number two is, I do work that uses my entire body. Not hard labour—at 5’0 and 105 lbs I’m not made for that. But gently moving, stretching, changing position…not sitting slumped at a screen all day…makes a huge difference in my well-being. (more…)

A grouchy old woman

Friday, September 21st, 2012

I go to visit Rose at her assisted-living facility once a week. She is 98, tiny and frail, semi-blind and semi-deaf. She can shuffle slowly around with a walker, but needs a wheelchair to go beyond the building. As she breathes she makes a high peeping sound in the back of her throat, an effect of the cancer in her thyroid.

Rose bullies me mercilessly when i wheel her through London Drugs (“stop, STOP! I said turn left are you an IDIOT?!”). She is probably not unaware of the sympathetic looks people give me as I try my best to patiently follow her directions. I am so humbled by the kindness people show to her in her most enraged moments. Still, strange as it sounds, I really do like Rose and she is getting to like me. I perversely enjoy her company. (more…)

Such wonder

Saturday, July 21st, 2012

If i was three years old i would laugh at the sound of laughter. I would ask for milk and have it handed to me in a spill-proof cup. I would discover the alphabet in a clothbound book. I would run full tilt, trip, fall flat out, cry, be comforted, get up, run and fall again. Such wonder.

If I was ten years old i would go to summer camp, meet soul sisters, share secrets. I would watch my mermaid shadow on the sandy lake bottom. (more…)

I was born on this day

Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

My 40th Interdependence Day birthday bash featured a pedal-powered sound system, firespinners and dj’s and bicycles with flaming wheels.  I’ve celebrated on Mt. Elfinstone and in Horsefly and on a glacier. Last year i convened a spontaneous garden party. I might yet throw something together, and if I do, it will be fun. But i’ve been busy, so maybe it will happen and maybe not.

I’m not feeling especially melancholy, but the day is always a bittersweet reminder of mortality. When you are on your own, it is especially poignant. (more…)

Happy mothers and non-mothers day

Friday, May 11th, 2012

We marched down Wall Street this morning, all dressed in black. Wall Street in East Van that is, down in the semi-industrial paradise by the port lands. A parade, in honour of the Buddha’s birthday.

Two smiling black-robed priests led the procession. I followed, striking the brass inkin bell. Behind me walked a tall man strewing flower petals, and then two young men bearing a small flower-canopied palanquin. Next, a woman holding aloft the six-inch baby Buddha, then an eight-year-old girl carrying a trumpet to herald the baby’s arrival, and then the rest of the various congregation. (more…)


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