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Bicycle Buddha » Blog Archive » Me and my breasts

Me and my breasts

At age 10 my early-blooming boobies made me a freak and a victim. I’ve spent my life hating them, hiding them, and fantasizing them pared away.

So last week I got a message from my doctor in Vancouver. My routine mammogram showed some vague abnormality. The good folks at Upaya directed me to a benevolent nurse-practitioner here in Santa Fe, who slotted me in right away for an exam. She squeezed and patted and pronounced my breasts to be fine and healthy—general effects of time and gravity notwithstanding. I grinned and handed her a $50 bill.  She prescribed, as general good breast care and cancer prevention: a diet low in animal proteins, moderate coffee consumption, and one melatonin tablet daily plus a gentle massage with oil of frankincense. A little self-love, for my benign but much maligned mammaries.

7 Responses to “Me and my breasts”

  1. Patti Powell Says:

    Thanks for this Carmen. For the usual bare and brave honesty, and matter-of-fact sweet story-telling. Am going out to buy some of the sense of frankin.


  2. Ian Stephen Says:

    You gave me a scare! I’m so glad you’re alive too. May you and all your parts be free of suffering and its causes for a long time to come.

  3. Me and my balls « view from the greg Says:

    […] friend Carmen’s blog recent post titled Me and my breasts (the adventures of a mammogram […]

  4. Lorraine a danga Says:

    May your jubblies remain free of invasion. You’re in Santa Fe? I enjoy watching the arc of your travels. It seems dream like from my perspective. Blessings, Lor

  5. amy k Says:

    thanks Carmen,
    Breast care is not often spoken of in the medical community, I’m glad to hear that you received such helpful information. After noting some thickness (ductal cysts) in my breasts earlier this year, I’ve become curious as to how information is shared regarding on-going care … I’ve discovered that lymphatic drainage massage and regular self-massage for one’s breasts are excellent and enjoyable.

  6. Leon Says:

    Oh your booboies…
    I would do it for 40$!


  7. sharai Says:

    mmmm booby massage.

    so glad your breasts are healthy.


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