Rain drums on the roof of my bus, waves pound the rocks below. Into the darkness and back to the light, I commit, to this. I commit to this slippery grey stone in the Salish Sea, which will be my home through this winter. I am stoked, intrigued, and a little terrified.
I have taken a job as part-time Marketing Assistant atÂ Hollyhock, until May, and who knows from there. I was hesitant, because the word ‘marketing’ kind of makes my skin crawl. But mostly itÂ will be graphic design, writing copy, and connecting people up – more or less what i like to do, and do well. I know it really grounds me to have some kind of a job, to give a semblance of structure to my time. I respect Hollyhock and think the work will be fun. And of course it will pay the rent, which on Cortes Island, is pretty cheap.
And then so, what will I do, through all these bleak rainy days? Bike through the puddles. Walk in the forest in the rain. Knit. Write. Incubate my Project, which is kicking to be born. Get movies and books from the library. Practice, practice, practice.
It feels like walking through the zendo door on that first day of sesshin. The hours and days stretch before me like a long dark tunnel. I know it will be uncomfortable. I know I will have doubts and fears. I know there will be mornings when I can’t remember why I am here or what I am doing, and I know I will sometimes feel very alone. I know I will make it through to the spring. That, or be eaten by mold or slugs in the attempt. Huzzah!