Aging & Dying

In love with a boy and his dog

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI am in love with a boy and his dog. It’s an old-fashioned sort of a thing.

Because mostly how things go in these fast-moving times is: you meet, and you flirt, and then you have sex. Sometimes on the same day, or maybe on the second or third date. And then hormones explode and you get all dizzy and euphoric, and then mildly to madly obsessed. You can’t think about anything but him/her, you replay every moment and fantasize relentlessly. You ignore most of your friends and bore the rest of them half to death. This, is what the pop songs call Love. Months go by and then reality intrudes on your daydreams. You start seeing their patterns and they see yours—all the stripes and paisleys and plaids, the  screaming neons, the blackest of blacks. The patterns throb and clash, expectations dissolve, disappointed sets in: they were supposed to be perfect. They’re not perfect. And then things get hard. And then they get ugly. And then it is over.

But Daniel and Panther—I have known them for years. We three are fast friends. We’ve seen each other moody, misbehaving, drooling and smelling of shit. We have hung out in celebration and sadness. We have slept side by side on friends’ dusty floors, and all together in my bed (with Panther snoring in the middle). I so treasured our friendship that I made myself let go of wanting, and I simply accepted them both. And was so grateful for their presence in my life. The day after New Years things shifted. We bumped noses and kissed, a bit awkwardly. A new adventure began.

So this is an experiment in loving as a grown-up. In going for it, with gusto—but not being stupid. Holding on lightly, and keeping it real.

I’m not falling in love. I don’t need that dizzying drop. I am just being in love. Being, in love, with a boy, and his dog.

We will road-trip to California, to visit Daniel’s mom. I’ve never been presented to someone’s mom before. Nor did I ever present a lover to mine. Such a nice jewish boy, too—my mother would have cut off her left arm for such a boy. My dad wouldn’t have cared, but he would have gone nuts for the dog. Panther is pleased, as are Daniel and I.



9 Comments on “In love with a boy and his dog

  1. Dear Being In Love, they say that fast friends change (impermanence) into the best lovers. Great adventure. See where it takes you. And hopefully when the reality intrudes on your daydreams you will both have the dharma to work it out. Sometimes the relationship ends up getting better. Enjoy!

  2. Well I can’t wait to hear more of your adventures with a dog plus . I can live love vicariously as I’m beyond dog and women handling I suspect. But you never know! PLG Tony

  3. What’s this thing with having sex on the third date?! Opening your legs before you open your life to another person? I lived (and fucked) in the disco era and I’m becoming old-fashioned as I age. I actually want someone to know me, and care for me, before we do the most intimate thing two people can do. Crazy, I know. 😉

  4. Oh – I have a crazy warm heart for you reading this right now. Yes! You! It’s possible, of course, to even love the imperfections – but it does take a certain kind of grown up love 🙂

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